Really cute drawing of us although it's old and we don't really look too much like that but you know, yeah we do, so it's good 'nuf, which is our house philiosophy.

Having a Good Day

Chapter 2

Today my remaining MS pig caught a cold. Poor creature was coughing and sneezing. I gave her some codeine cough syrup and some treats and sent her to bed. Then I noticed all the piglets (from both of my sows) had caught the cold; where upon I called the vet. It must be a very virulent strain of cold. The vet was sneezing by the time he left.

Later I noticed that all my piglets had developed MS! I quickly went looking for my post-it notes in search of the information to make some more MS vaccine. I found my post-it notes after a few days of looking. I couldn’t read my own writing! Besides that, they were all mixed up. I called my vet to see how he was doing. His wife, herself now sneezing ,said he woke up unable to walk and was now in the hospital with a preliminary diagnosis of probable MS. She said she couldn’t talk right now; she had just called 911 because she was suddenly going blind. (opto-neurtitus)

I then called the hospital and told a doctor there about my piglets that had just developed MS. He said he would get back to me.

Siren blaring, a bunch of vans with SWAT teams dressed in space suits just showed up at my house. They immediately arrested me, put me in a bubble, and carted me away to await the arrival of senior investigators from the Center for Disease Control. They also said I was under arrest for bio-terrorism! They laughed when I said I needed a lawyer. Terrorists don’t get lawyers, they get tortured!

They were very interested in my experiments. I gave them all the post-it notes I could find. After determining I was not contagious, they took me to jail. While sitting there alone except for the guards, everyone there was afraid to come within sight of me. The guards couldn’t get away from me. Soon the guards were sneezing! I watched them stagger away as they left work after completing their shift. Later that evening the CDC goons showed up and put me in another bubble and left me in my cage. I had to stay in that cursed bubble even in court. The judge told me to shut the fuck up terrorist when I complained about the lack of a lawyer. When I said the bubble was unduly influencing the jury, the judge with a cheering jury told me to shut the fuck up terrorist!

I received life in prison with no chance of parole, and was restricted by court order to forever remain in a bubble! The only choice I had was to die. I sat back in deep meditation, where upon I temporally turned my heart beat off. Even though it is wicked cold in the morgue refrigerator I was able to stand it by lowering my body temperature.

It was then I overheard them saying that I was to be cremated still in my bubble. I decided it was past time to be escaping. I guess it's not too strange: they saw me as a modern day typhoid Mary. How was I going to escape?

The bubble part was an easy beginning, a single dig with my new grown tusk ripped the high strength bubble easily. As easy as with my knife, which they had taken away from me, but with a better leverage; tusks were designed for ripping. Next the door was locked into my room (cell). Again my tusks easily dug through the hardwood door. At least they didn’t think I needed a steel jail cell - while dead. Guess the CDC isn’t used to keeping dead prisoners. From there I followed the exit sighs to the exit. Fire safety regulations are good for more than fires. But then it was fire I was afraid of. I didn’t want to be cremated alive! Once outside, using my lifelong mechanic skills made stealing a car easy. I headed for the hills of South Carthage. Only the locals would have a chance of finding me there. The local would likely attack the CDC rather that help them. In Carthage we take care of our own. No Romans allowed! Outside government officials are all Romans!

The cave I found below the rock cliff near the peak of Saddleback was an excellent hideaway. I don’t think even my brother knows about this cave or he would have mentioned it at some time. With an entrance facing due south it was naturally somewhat warm, a good thing because I wanted to avoid a large fire. It was necessary to avoid smoke and visible flame.

Now, as to determine what to do for the long run. After meditating on the matter for an rather log time I determined that I did have the mental ability, with the aid of the Gutted adenovirus, to change my genetic make up at will. The first thing I did was change the look of my face and the color of my hair and beard. I always wanted to have a red beard anyway. I made my nose slightly shorter more along the line of myself being 18 again, my ears were now smaller too with the elfish bumps, like my brother has on one ear. My chin was now pronounced a lot like you see in movie stars. My eyes now light green/hazel, in matching with my red hair.

Looking in a puddle I decided that I looked nothing like I did. I also decided to make the extra effort to make myself non-contagious. I could have done that before, if the CDC had told me I was contagious. But I think they hadn’t known at first and their solution was to burn it out of me. Cremation sucks if you are still alive! Burning at the stake is at least has a traditional background! While I was in the process doing genetic alterations, I made myself into a MS healing virus carrier. Now all I had to do was visit anyone with MS, and they would get an infection of the virus that will cure them. Plus, I did leave in the factor that will give them elfish ears, sort of a trademark!

So first I visited my vet and his wife. The medical community was amazed at their sudden complete recovery! They were at a loss to explain the weird points that began appearing on their ears, on the ears of other MS sufferers that were beginning to show similar spontaneous recoveries. I made the recover virus contagious, so now anyone they visited that had MS, also recovered, complete with ear bumps.

My girlfriend didn’t recognize me. When I kissed her she started to scream rape until she recognized my kisses. Then she decided she liked the changes. And then….

David Friday, October 21, 2005

Soon to come, chapter three: Will the CDC come looking for me - how many people have tusks? (I kept them because they are neat!) Will the town office think I am an imposter and try to kick me off my own property? How difficult will it be to change into Bill Gates, complete with the recorded DNA profile? Will I get busted for stealing my escape car? When will the pig stink in my back bedroom go away?

Stay tuned for Chapter 3


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